Read (from the New Living Translation)

Colossians 3:13

13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

Go Deep

Forgiveness isn’t fair. So, how is it possible?

Mike Donehey from Tenth Avenue North explains this perfectly in today’s video. He tells the story of asking his dad, “How did you forgive your alcoholic father?” The answer flips forgiveness on it’s head and had Mike FLOORED.

 

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123 comments
  1. Profile photo of Asher
    Asher

    A mentor once told me that we need to die to ourselves – our worldly desires and treasures, what would be in our best interests – to truly be Christians. That really changed my perspective. When I find it difficult to forgive others, I find it helpful to take a moment to remember how Jesus gave grace to me, and think of how sharing that grace could impact someone. Thank you for your insightful sharing, Mike!

    • Profile photo of pauladine

      I’ve never fully understood the concept of dying to myself.
      Thank you mMike for explaining it simply through the story from your dad.

    • Profile photo of Pastor Dave WAY-FM

      So true, Asher! Forgiveness has impact for eternity … why wouldn’t I want that??

  2. Pamela Anne McCoy

    Wow….I needed to hear this today. I am struggling with some family matters right now and have had bitter feelings with some family members recently. This is a real challenge for me because I am commanded to forgive these people that have hurt me. I appreciate your testimony and the reminder of God’s expectations for us as Christians.

    • Profile photo of Pastor Dave WAY-FM

      Get ready to experience His grace in greater ways through this, Pamela Anne! That’s just how our faithful God works!

  3. Profile photo of kskoerner

    Wow! This was truly inspiring. How great it was to hear the humility of this father toward his son in answering one of the most pivotal questions to be asked. I pray this puts Gods grace toward us in a better perspective for all of us. How very tender are the words of God to the very pits of our battles. God bless ya’ll for “raising the bar ” on grace which goes hand in hand with forgiveness.

    Forever changed,

    Karla

    • Profile photo of Pastor Dave WAY-FM

      That father broke the chain of curse in that family. I wonder who we will influence through God’s abundant grace today!

  4. Profile photo of Ashley

    This was so inspirational! I needed to hear this this morning! Thank you so much for sharing. I hope I can use this insight to share with my friends and family!

  5. Cindy

    Thank you for this. My Mom’s father was an alcoholic. She was the oldest of 5. Her father abused her and her mom/my grandma. I only met him once as a child. When I was in my 20’s I was surprised to hear that my mom made the decision to take care of her father because he was ill. Her selflessness was a shock to me. I was not a believer at the time. So I really was freaked out about it. Not really knowing how to feel. I went to visit her and by this time he was in a home. We bet to the hospital and he had no idea who I was, but I could see how much he relied on my mom. I could see how much she loved him. She had forgiven him. When I became a believer in my mid 30’s I had a lot of anger for various reasons. I was at church and the pastor spoke of forgiveness and how holding on to anger was keeping yourself in your own prison. I had done that for years. I remembered my mom in the hopital taking care of her dad. She was peaceful. I knew it was time to let go. It’s amazing what God can do in your heart if you trust him and follow.

    • Profile photo of Rebie WAY-FM

      Wow, that is amazing. What a beautiful picture of forgiveness.

  6. Beth

    Wow… No words…

  7. Profile photo of bwilliams38

    Die to my right to be offended. That statement may be the best way for me to actually understand. Die to myself never really made a whole lot of sense to me but the way you put things hit home. Thank you for helping me to understand!

    • Profile photo of Rebie WAY-FM

      I’m so glad this helped! It definitely helped me! Mike has an amazing way of explaining things.

  8. Profile photo of Katie
    Katie

    So encouraging thank you Mike! 😊

  9. Chris

    This has been the best small group study yet

  10. Matt Chesebrough

    Thank you for this video. I am struggling to forgive my dad for things he did in the past to myself, mom and sister. He passed away several years ago and only recently did I realize that the reason I always felt like was not good enough was because of his message. I’m in the process of writing my own letter so this video really spoke to my heart this morning. Thank you for the encouragement and message.

  11. Profile photo of Charlie

    This whole topic is very poinient for me. You see, back in december, I discovered my wife was cheating on me. I was devastated. My world was upside down in a heartbeat. I went to church two days later and the message was on forgiveness. I was so sure that God was telling me that I needed to forgive my wife and we would be reconciled. So, I went to her on Monday and gently told her what I discovered and that I forgive her. It was a three hour conversation that was the opposite of moving toward reconciliation. She was stiff-necked, lying, accusatory toward me… Instead, I am now in the throes of divorce proceedings. And I am learning what Joy wrote about yesterday and what Mike spoke on today; that I have to continue to forgive… It feels like every day – some times multiple times a day. I feel like I’m “doing forgiveness wrong” since I’m having to forgive every day. I feel like I really am not forgiving her if it doesn’t “stick”. She has yet to apologize to me. I am not expecting her too… But as Mike said his father wrote a letter, I may do that for her. I know that there were things in our marriage that I did not handle properly. That’s an act of bumblebees that I’m not sure I’m ready for, to be honest. I’ve realized that my forgiveness toward her is, at least for this moment, freeing for me. No, forgiveness is not fair. Forgiveness does not stop the hurt from coming. Forgiveness does not prompt the other person to ask for forgiveness in return – I thought it would. Forgiveness is hard because it looks like she is not going to “pay” for what she has done. But the Bible says that we should do good to those that hurt us. In so doing, we heap burning coals on their head. In essence, it’s my job to forgive and model that to my kids and those around me. I pray for her every day. I admit, I’m not very good at this but I’m learning. Thank you all for “listening” to my story.

    • Profile photo of Charlie

      Bumblebees was suposed to be humbleness… Even autocorrect has a hard time with this topic… LOL

      • Vince

        Cquiring, I am walking the same exact path you are walking. I felt like was the only one walking a path like this. God had the radio on at the exact time the other day so I could hear about this small group. I saw what the first message was going to be about and thought, yes Lord, I need to hear that because I want to forgive and I’ve told her that I forgive her. But, like you said, it doesn’t feel like it is sticking and the thoughts keep coming back when I’ve told God “I don’t want the the thoughts to keep coming back, I just want to forgive her and move on”. It has been over a year now and they still keep coming back for some reason.

        I’ve tried to find a verse in Scripture that would identify my exact situation and the prodigal son is the only one that has a similar parallel. The difference is that I have continued to pursue her with little effort on her part. I’ve wrestled with, “am I supposed to keep pursuing her or let her “come to her senses” like the prodigal son did.” Typically the spouse that had the affair should come back wanting reconciliation. But, in our situations that has not been the case.

        Back to pursuing her, I feel like the Holy Spirit put the parable of the lost sheep on my heart last week. With that being said, I will continue to pray for her and talk to her (we have two children, so we have to talk from time to time) and watch and wait for God to soften her heart.

        In the natural, it would probably be easier to continue with the divorce and move on. But, I want to be able to use this story to help other couples who are struggling and show them that God can overcome even the worst of the worst.

        I will pray for you Cquirling. I don’t know your name, but God knows who Cquriling is. I will also pray for your wife and family that they will see God’s mighty hand move in this awful situation. I don’t know you, but I love you and just know that you are not alone. There is another person walking this earth that is going through the same thing and feels your pain.

        • Profile photo of Charlie

          Vince, thank you for your prayers. This is a road that I never thought I would walk, yet I guess I saw it coming. It’s good to have other brothers in Christ that can relate to my struggle. I pray for you and your situation as well. I pray that she sees what kind of a man you are. One that is faithful and persistent towards reconciliation and towards her.
          Charlie (Cquiring)

          • Bornelus

            God called me to stand in the gap for my marriage. It wasn’t easy at first praying for someone that’s hurting you and keep fleeing from you. When I started taking my eyes off my situation and started being obedient to God I became at peace. I pray for my prodigal spouse everyday and even though he’s not home yet, I know God’s working on the other side of the mountain on my behalf. Websites like WayFm and a website​ called Charlyne Cares thought me how to stand and pray for my dead marriage. God promised to resurrect my marriage. My marriage will be a testimony to others and God will get all the glory. I know what you’re going through Vince and Charlie. You’re in my prayers. Don’t give up on your marriages​. Marriage represents Jesus and the church and God hates divorce. Have a blessed day.

          • Vince

            Thanks Charlie, I prayed fervently yesterday for you and your family. Have a great day!

        • Bornelus

          God called me to stand in the gap for my marriage. It wasn’t easy at first praying for someone that’s hurting you and keep fleeing from you. When I started taking my eyes off my situation and started being obedient to God I became at peace. I pray for my prodigal spouse everyday and even though he’s not home yet, I know God’s working on the other side of the mountain on my behalf. Websites like WayFm and a website​ called Charlyne Cares thought me how to stand and pray for my dead marriage. God promised to resurrect my marriage. My marriage will be a testimony to others and God will get all the glory. I know what you’re going through Vince and Charlie. You’re in my prayers. Don’t give up on your marriages​. Marriage represents Jesus and the church and God hates divorce. Have a blessed day.

          • Vince

            Your commentary overlapped your name, so all I can see is Borne. But, thank you for your prayers. I too will pray for you and your family. Have a great day!

        • Bethany

          Vince and Charlie thank you so much for your postings. I am experiencing a similar situation. What I’ve learned is to love unconditionally. We must be the best version of ourselves therefore the other person struggles to let us go. I do not let my actions waiver with anything negative my husband says to me… for example “I’ve made up my mind and I’m still going through with divorce” when those words are spoken I stay quiet and silently pray to God. he is mighty and powerful. Also I completed the Love Dare from Fireproof and believe that God has changed me from the inside out. Ultimately I had to focus on me before I could do and be everything my husband wanted me to be. I would suggest that book to anyone struggling in their marriage. Something else I’ve really enjoyed is the Andy Stanley videos on “Staying In Love” and the movie Warroom. Just remember we are never alone- God is always with us!!

    • Jeff

      Prayed for you.

      • Profile photo of Pastor Dave WAY-FM

        Comments like these are why I love this small group. This is the Body of Christ in action … encouraging, carrying, lifting up, praying, changing, growing. This is a blessing!

    • Cody Deno

      I also thought it was intriguing that Joy said we may need to forgive others multiple times a day. It seems like a simple concept, but in actuality it is pretty hard to apply.

      • Jayne

        Holy Spirit is always available and willing to help us do the impossible task of letting go of offenses and hurts and truly, sincerely forgiving…He’s amazing!

      • Profile photo of Rebie WAY-FM

        Definitely hard when it comes down to it. I loved what Joy said yesterday – it’s impossible to do this on our own… but God can! And He is at work in us everyday. Forgiveness is something that turns our hearts toward Him.

  12. Profile photo of Walkie35

    I needed this pep talk today. Great lesson.

  13. Laura

    I, too, am in the midst of a divorce. It is infidelity that is tearing our 26 year marriage apart. Infidelity has been something my husband has struggled with. It had been truly forgiven in the past…and now it has happened again. It is excrutiating…just as it was 9 years ago. I am, again, working on forgiving my husband, but this time it is leading to the ‘dissolution’ of our marriage and our family. Funny thing is, I am much further along the forgiveness spectrum than my family. Some are so hurt and so angry, they can’t even look my husband. It’s very likely ‘hate’ manifesting itself. I find myself praying for them to forgive my husband…so we can all move on, which is a strange place to be. I have shared this study with them, and I am hoping they are following along. Today’s message is perfectly explained…and if they aren’t following along, I will be sharing this day with them anyway. I love the ‘die to our right to be offended’…this is where many of my family members are…holding fast to their right to be angry and offended. If we (as ‘victims’) don’t forgive, then we are no better than those who have ‘offended’ us in the height of their sin. Because they (the offenders) were not thinking of God, they were not thinking of Christ’s sacrifice, they were not putting their loved ones best interests first, they were not leading lives that they were called to live as believers…and so, to hold onto your unforgiveness, your hate, your anger…neither are you doing those things…so the offender and the victim become equals. Forgiveness isn’t easy, but it is freeing, and it only happens with God’s help. Emmanuel, God is with us, let Him help. Thank you for sharing your story and great insight.

    • Profile photo of Joani Pederson

      My marriage ended in divorce because of infidelity after 32 years. It’s now been 5 years since the divorce, 6 since I kicked him out! I have walked the road of forgiveness many times throughout these years. As Joy stated it’s a battle that you feel you’re not forgiving right. To this day I still struggle with the forgiveness at times when something will be said or done that brings up all the old hurts and pains. I had asked him about 3 months into our seperation about getting back together and working things out since we had taken a vow before God. It took him 3-4 days to finally get back to me with the lame excuse he felt my and my daughter deserved better then he could offer…. so yes even after 6 years I continue to struggle with forgiveness towards my ex. The road gets easier but I still haven’t reached the end.

      • Bornelus

        God called me to stand in the gap for my marriage. It wasn’t easy at first praying for someone that’s hurting you and keep fleeing from you. When I started taking my eyes off my situation and started being obedient to God I became at peace. I pray for my prodigal spouse everyday and even though he’s not home yet, I know God’s working on the other side of the mountain on my behalf. Websites like WayFm and a website​ called Charlyne Cares thought me how to stand and pray for my dead marriage. God promised to resurrect my marriage. My marriage will be a testimony to others and God will get all the glory. I know what you’re going through. You’re in my prayers. Don’t give up on your marriages​. Marriage represents Jesus and the church and God hates divorce. Have a blessed day

    • Profile photo of Pastor Dave WAY-FM

      Tremendous comments, Laura, from the depths of experience. Thanks for adding “meat” to an already great “feast” today from Mike.

    • Profile photo of Charlie

      Laura,
      I am so sorry for what you are going through. To forgive and then he does it again… I am struggling through the fact that we did not find reconciliation. Or maybe, I did not pursue it “hard enough” for her to agree. But then I listen to stories like your’s and find that letting her go is what’s necessary. I pray for you and your family today. That you and they find peace in the middle of this turmoil.

      • Laura

        Thank you, Charlie,
        I appreciate your kind words and sympathies…sounds like you know a bit about it too. Prayers for you, as well. Peace is here…it still hurts, but I know all will be well. Many thanks and blessings!

  14. Keith

    Amen, and wonderful video, Mike….thank you! I’m thankful that through God’s Grace I’ve been able to forgive people for things I’ve never thought possible. I share with others that of our flesh, we cannot forgive others without submitting ourselves and our bitternesses to Yahweh. The fleshly world is retaliatory-minded and many of us are taught to be retaliatory from childhood. The Spirit is forgiving, so as children of God we’re to walk in the Spirit. Forgiving others is a wonderful feeling and it frees us from unnecessary bondage.

  15. Profile photo of Jennalou16

    Wow!! This gave me the chills! So true!! Amazing hoe God works!!

  16. Stacy

    This is very inspiring. To ask for forgiveness from the ones that are the cause of your own bitterness is not an easy thing. I work with kids and there are times when acts of bullying occur. To tell a kid to go up to their bully and ask THEM for forgiveness! “Forgive me for whatever I have done to you for you to act out in hate against me, forgive me!”! That is huge. That is also something that you do not see, not that I have seen anyway. This is a lesson that needs to be shared in schools and at home. Forgive each other. Forgive yourself. I think then, once kids of all ages can grasp that concept of forgiveness, we would see a more beautiful relationship between everyone, everywhere.

  17. Marianne

    Awesome!!
    I have forgiven my husband for things of the past, but now I realize – I must confess my resentment and in turn ask his forgiveness.

  18. Jeff

    I needed to hear this today. Thanks for sharing.

  19. Loved this! I am in a struggle right now and this study is hitting home for me. Thank you thank you thank you!

  20. Profile photo of Klparker350

    Thank you for sharing your fathers story! His story has challenged me! Thank you

  21. Profile photo of Trevor Poling

    What a great testimony. I had a similar experience. My dad was a good, moral father, but unsaved. When I was in my twenties, he and I parted ways when I moved away. He sort of drove me away. But, I got saved and when I realized that I was part of why we did not get along, I went to my dad, asked for forgiveness and told him that I forgave him. I have been free ever since. He is still not saved, but now, in his eighties, he an I have coffe every Saturday and I share my faith with him. Pray for Harper’s salvation with me.

    • Profile photo of Pastor Dave WAY-FM

      Coffee & Christ … love it! I have prayed this for you today, Trevor. May this Saturday be the day!!!

    • Profile photo of Rebie WAY-FM

      Just said a prayer! That is a beautiful story of forgiveness. Thank you for sharing!

  22. Profile photo of John Scaggs

    “We need to absorb more pain then we inflict.” Did you hear that quote in the video attributed to Tim Keller? Keller has a lot to say on this subject. Wow, I wish I could live it out just as easily as I can do a web search and find an extensive case for this biblical truth lived out by Jesus and his followers. Keller twitter feed from Feb 2015 touches on this too, “The essence of forgiveness is absorbing pain instead of giving it.” We can only do this with the strength he readily supplies. That is the gift of grace.

    • Bornelus

      Amen

  23. Kim

    Of course, that’s it !!! (sigh)
    Thank you so much.

  24. Karen White

    Wow….I’m convicted by this testimony….how many times have I forgiven others while not owning my own wrong doing. This gives me something to ponder today…

  25. Profile photo of Julie Pitts

    Absolutely, turned my heart inside out. My mom sat down once and asked for my forgiveness for not raising me the way I should have been raised. Because by not watching over me as closely as the other children bad tings happened and I went through molestation, sexual abuse, and rape. I was absolutely floored that my mom took that responsibility for her actions causing such damage to my life and of course, I forgave her. But I never asked her for her to forgive me for holding her in contempt for those actions. I have a call to make if anyone reads this please pray for me to have courage to make that call.

    • Profile photo of Pastor Dave WAY-FM

      I am praying … What great tears of joy this will bring! Our God is the Great Reconciler!

  26. Profile photo of lorilu

    Thanks for sharing that great story of forgiveness!
    Really clicked on the part about being offended. I certainly have no place deciding who deserves forgiveness and who doesn’t., when Christ died for us all…
    Thank you for hitting that hone.

  27. Profile photo of Carl
    Carl

    What a great message! Thank you for sharing!

  28. Profile photo of pastormatt

    Great message that we, as Christians, should be living! Hard to do, but should do it!

  29. Thanks for sharing this today . It’s a new way of looking at things from the hurt side if life. I’ve forgive those that hurt me, released tge, but n this has never crossed my mind.

  30. I’ve never thought of giving forgiveness in this way. Very deep and lots to ponder. Thanks for sharing

  31. Garry Miller

    How do I get through stuff? Some people may think I do not have sensitivity or feelings. I need to get through life, yet when people do or say stuff to me how do I get through the hurt. Or if I say or do something that I screwed up on and hurt someone and they do not want my apologies how do I get around the sadness of their not wanting my apologies? My belief may be different from yours and if so tis OK. Christianity is a personal relationship between you and the Lord Jesus Christ. Only Jesus knows your true real closeness to Him and that is what matters. So how I look at this is as follows. As per my understanding I get a new body in Heaven and I will know no sadness. So this is my personal take. For example: I will not know anyone when when I get there or else old memories would be there to remind me of the people I knew. So if I lost a child or friend at a very young age I will not know that child when I get to Heaven cuz then I might be sad that that child did not have a chance to live the child life to adulthood. And I believe that child’s new body probably will not be as a child but the grown up version, so I would not recognize them anyway. GOD needs you to be free of all the hurting so He can use you, which is why you need to let go. Using the power of the Holy Spirit in you, you truly ask forgiveness for your whatevers and you forgive likewise. You give Jesus all your troubles your praises your requests your sins and let Him deal with them. How can Jesus fully use you for His purposes if you are constantly having all this stuff clogging up your life? You got to learn to let go let God and and say I am ready ,where next GOD? Gotta put GOD first so he can lead you. Sure it sounds like I have no feelings and people wonder about me but I gotta look ahead to what is next. Gotta let GOD keep me going down His way. All this bad stuff I am not going to know in Heaven so why not starting living for that way now? Let it go so He can use you more efficiently. Yes sometimes GOD”S answer is no like when Paul asked GOD to remove the thorn, (in my belief the thorn being the memory of the Chistians he put to death as Saul. How he must of felt when trying to lead people to Jesus? I believe it motivated him more with the knowledge not being removed.) I remember the first time I used this way of believing. I was in charge of finding the best deal for a new riding mower for the church so I spent a lot of time looking for certain mowers all over the place with the best church deal I could find as some companies give churches a good deal.. I finally decided to get a certain one and I got to church to find that a deacon just up and went and bought one for more money and not the great John Deere deal I managed. I was angry and drove over the the Pastors house where I sat in the car for a while and made the decision there was nothing I could do cuz the mower was already being used. So I needed to let go so I just prayed to God to forgive the man when the Pastor came to my car and asked what is up? I told him what had happened and he said will make him take it back and I said no just let it go. Pastor wanted to have a meeting with us both but I said I already prayed to GOD to let it go and for forgiveness for getting so angry and thinking of ways to get back at him that were not Christian like. The pastor told me that there was no better way to get back at him then to let GOD cuz only GOD knows the best way to handle the situation. Today me and this good man are still friends and I love him and his wife much..Letting GOD deal with it is the best way cuz we do not know the best way..Sometimes you just need to take a bowl of warm water put a few drops of Dawn in it and wash your hands and say GOD what is next???????

  32. Teepee

    Wow!! Thank you, Mike!
    The Lord rescued me from a broken marriage of 30 years,that became more and more verbally abusive. When it turned physically abusive, I left. If it had not crossed that line, I don’t think I would have ever left because I took my vows seriously and wanted our marriage to work. I lost all respect for him even though I still loved him. I would not have our children and grandchildren without him.
    About 18 months after I left him, the Lord laid it on my heart to invite him to family functions (bithdays, etc). I did NOT want him in my home, but the Lord said it would be best for our kids and it would help us heal. So after much prayer, I invited him into my home. The first time was HARD but it has gotten easier each time. True to His Word, the Lord is healing my heart and the hearts of our adult children. I don’t care how old you are, divorce is devastating. It is a death that you keep reliving.
    When we were married, I was generally the one who tried to smooth things out. He never truly apologized for any wrongdoing,somehow it was always my fault. As I look back and after I heard this message, I know there were things I could have done differently. I will pray about how to pen a letter to him. I have, only through the grace of God, forgiven him. There are things that trigger bad memories and unforgiveness rears it’s ugly head, and I have to choose to take captive those thoughts and make them obedient to Christ and give up my right to be offended.
    The Lord freed me from that toxic relationship. He has freed me to forgive him but I have not told him that I have forgiven him. Pray that the Lord will give me the words and the opportunity to do this so we can continue to heal and live in the freedom Christ gave us.
    Thank you again for that beautiful message.

    • Bornelus

      God called me to stand in the gap for my marriage. It wasn’t easy at first praying for someone that’s hurting you and keep fleeing from you. When I started taking my eyes off my situation and started being obedient to God I became at peace. I pray for my prodigal spouse everyday and even though he’s not home yet, I know God’s working on the other side of the mountain on my behalf. Websites like WayFm and a website​ called Charlyne Cares thought me how to stand and pray for my dead marriage. God promised to resurrect my marriage. My marriage will be a testimony to others and God will get all the glory. I know what you’re going through. You’re in my prayers. Don’t give up on your marriages​. Marriage represents Jesus and the church and God hates divorce. Have a blessed day

      • Teepee

        That is beautiful. I will pray that God will give him a new heart; remove his heart of stone and replace it with a heart of flesh and put His Spirit within him. Ezekieal 36:25-27. I still pray this for mine. God bless.

    • Profile photo of Pastor Dave WAY-FM

      Now, that’s a prayer God loves to hear! It’s a privilege to pray with you, Teepee.

  33. Profile photo of Robin
    Robin

    To die to ourselves – to then receive the grace of Jesus – then to pass this on to others through forgiveness. A mind blowing cycle.

    • Profile photo of Pastor Dave WAY-FM

      A great way to say it, Robin. Short & effective! God’s way is so amazing, isn’t it?

  34. Linda

    To absorb more pain than you inflict. Wow, tough words to live out but so good!

  35. Profile photo of Big Country

    He’s completely right even though it is really tough as I am learning.

  36. sherry

    Awesome, thank you for sharing your father’s testamony and your understanding and wisdom of how God’s word works.

  37. Profile photo of Crystal

    Thank you for this perspective. I really need this. I’m struggling at work right now with feeling taken advantage of and underappreciated. It’s made me bitter. Now I realize that my bitterness is so to the fact I have unforgiveness around this situation. Thank you for helping me see this.

  38. Penny

    I love the quote, “absorb more pain than you inflict.”

  39. Cari

    “We need to absorb more pain than we inflict”. Tim Keller

    Wow.

  40. Profile photo of Jill
    Jill

    This was so helpful for me. I am in the midst of co flict with my mother. I have an 18 year old sister who was living in the toxicity that I once grew up in. I made the decision to bring her into my home a month ago. My mom is to say the least very upset with me. She feels I have went against her and do not support her. I have written her letters explaining that I support her and I only did it to help. She still refuses to talk to me. I have prayed about it and I am at peace with my decision but it is very difficult to live in conflict with my mother. Despite her issues I love her and desire to be in relationship with her. This helps give me a different viewpoint on how to approach her. Thank you for the post:)

  41. Rene

    Deeply touched by this. As others have posted, Wow! Thank you!

  42. Profile photo of Brenda

    Wow, WOW, absolutely amazing and so true. Die to myself in order to forgive. If I immerse my self in Christ then I have given up the ‘right’ to be offended by what anyone else says or does. I LOVE this!!

  43. Profile photo of Susan
    Susan

    Wow! Thanks everyone for sharing how God is helping you in forgiveness and dying to self. What a video.

  44. Profile photo of CarrieAnn71272

    I have grown to love(most of the time) when something resurfaces that I thought was completed. As I grow in my relationship in Christ I see these resurface moments as God saying, “ok daughter, you have done a good job growing. Let’s work on a deeper level of forgiveness so I can purify you.” Forgiveness is a vehicle to cleanse our hearts, souls and minds. It’s peeling your onion layers one at a time. As you trust and grow in Christ, he helps you move deeper into His loving arms.
    So when you think you forgave, and something resurfaces, it’s not a punishment nor did you fail…it’s God growing and healing you deeper and deeper.

  45. Jennifer

    Powerful, powerful, powerful! “The blood of Jesus is enough for me, but not for you.” That hit me hard and I made the same face Mike did at the same exact time! You know is true, but when you hear it, it hits hard! Thanks for that word. Also, it was so big of your Dad to go to his Dad about the resentment. I never thought of doing that to release those hurts and unforgiveness. Get message. I got a lot out of it.

  46. Carole

    Wow…..Father lead me deeper on the path, as the path is narrow,but oh what peace is found and joy experienced.

  47. Profile photo of mh0912

    I am blown away and speechless by this video. It has totally changed my perspective. Thank you so much for sharing.

  48. Profile photo of Lgalo21

    I too had an alcoholic father and he abandoned us. It was hard to not have a father role while growing but eventually grew stronger. Thankfully I never had a grudge but my brother did for a very long time. Thank you for sharing these powerful stories that connect with your audience. God bless

  49. Elizabeth

    WOW!! This message was so timely for what I’m going through. My husband is very quick to use hurtful words when he’s angry. I’ve told myself for years that I have the right to resent him for that. God has really been dealing with me lately about letting go of my bitterness & resentment, so it was like God chose Mike to share this message just for me! Ironically, my husband’s name is also Mike, so that confirmed the message even more. Thanks to everyone who is working to put “the world’s biggest small group” together. God bless you all!!

  50. Profile photo of Just Me

    I struggle so much with forgiveness. This testimony is very touching. I want to forgive.. I just can’t…I tried….I thought I did….But realized I either didn’t or I took it back. Why can’t I ? I know I’m supposed to..

  51. Profile photo of tcreech

    How wonderful for your father to ask for forgiveness. My parents were not alcoholics, but I never thought of that situation as your father did. Thank you for sharing your testimony!!

  52. Robin

    Asking forgiveness of the bitterness I hold toward you!
    Major Step! Feels like your falling off a cliff!
    Thank you for reminding us what forgiveness really is….

  53. Candi

    I need prayer for my situation. I am married, 47 years, to an alcoholic/marijuana user. He is not physically abusive (verbally & mentally, a bit) My problem is that I forgive, but it is going to happen again…and again…and again. He does most of his drinking and smoking in his shed, so I am away from the smell, but I can immediately tell when he’s high, and it gets to me. I go off on my own and ask God to help me forgive again, but it is always in my face. He even cooks the smelliest marijuana cookies in our home…smellying up the whole place. Marijuana is now legal in California, not regulated, just legalized.
    Anyway, I am desiring to forgive…70 X7000 times…I cannot get past the anger and pain.

    • Profile photo of WAY-FM

      Praying for you today, Candi.

      From WAY-FM.

    • Teepee

      Praying for you and that God will cause him to loose all desire for pot, and that the taste and smell of it will make him sick.

  54. Sally Patasky

    This was so amazing! It brought tears to my eyes because it showed me a side to forgiveness I’d never considered before…and I needed it! Praise God!

  55. Paul

    Great message! I think the kind of forgiveness that his dad talked about….asking his alcoholic dad to forgive his resentment against his dad can only come from the Holy Spirits prompting.

  56. Jim

    Excellent. It is hard to forgive but we must in order to be truly free.Jim

  57. Mike, Thank you so much for your story about your Dad, his Dad and their Heavenly Father. I was introduced to you at the NSAI TINPANSOUTH songwriters night. I am a fan.

  58. Tina Ledbetter

    Such an encouraging story of forgiveness. I am a recovering drug addict by the grace of Jesus,I am clean over 2 years now. Continue to stay focused on God and take it one day at a time. I caused my children a lot of hurt over a course of 5 years.It did not happen overnight but I did not mess it up overnight. With much prayer and faithfulness, It is amazing how our God is a God of restoration. My kids do not live with me yet, but we have an amazing honest, awesome relationship. Thanks to Jesus!

  59. Profile photo of annangel

    I have been angry with a husband to decisions he made that put our family in a bad finical state and angry at myself to not standing up for myself and children with these decisions. I asked God to release this angry from me and show me how to forgive my husband

  60. ken kanter

    I don’t believe I have ever heard forgiving explained so well before.
    Thank you.
    Ken

  61. kathy

    I need prayer for situation that has been on going for some time. Some people have been relentless in bothering me and my family. I forgive on pretty much regular basis and seek God for wisdom on how to deal with situation. does not stop need prayer and protection.

  62. sara

    I am struggling with this. I have been wronged. I forgave and continued on. This person was looking for a job, found one, but needed help. I helped but then he quit. I feel hurt and decided to stop helping and associating with him. my struggle is am I doing this from a place of unforgiveness or emotional self preservation?

  63. Joni DeBord

    Powerful testimony! Yes, what a great reminder to us all that I need to be humble, be honest, and own my own sin as I also ask God to help me to forgive others.

  64. Profile photo of Kathy Teer

    WOW!! Thank you for sharing!! My heart is breaking for all the unforgiveness I am carrying. Today I need to begin to make this different. Again, thank you!!

  65. Larry L Blevins Jr.

    This is so powerful.

  66. Tim

    This is a nice story. However; we can’t talk about forgiveness unless we define the term. The Bible defines the purpose of forgiveness as restoring relationship and requires repentance as it does with God. Our society lumps giving it to God, not holding a grudge, not taking revenge, and sometimes even trust under the term forgiveness. These stories all sound nice, but I think misses the point of what the Bible is actually saying. Unknowingly, we teach universalism to the unsaved by not separating these other subjects from the word forgiveness. God’s love is conditional but his forgiveness is conditional upon repentance. Otherwise, everyone is going to heaven even if they reject Jesus. We know this is isn’t the case. More biblical Hermeneutics is required here.

  67. Candy Garcia

    Powerful

  68. Marty

    WOW that is powerful what your Dad did! God is so great to love us and to help us to open our eyes to how we have to forgive others so he can forgive us! Life is so hard sometimes people have so much hurts in there hearts and have not gave it to God and the become very rude people. Sometimes it is so very hard to love them rude people! But we don’t know there story! We don’t know what happen in there life to make them the way they are. My mom gets so very MAD at me because I can forgive people that have hurt me in big ways in life like hitting me and with words! But I love people my mom is fearful that I am going to get hurt one day because I can see the good in everyone even if you have killed someone. Some place in side them is good! I don’t like looking at the bad in a person I look for the good! Well hope and pray y’all have a very blessed day!

  69. Debra Anne Shipley

    Awesome! Just awesome I needed this today!!

  70. Tracet

    Man this is a tough one!! I am an alcoholic who has struggled for 40+ years with the disease. I am in recovery, thanks be to God, but I have some tall resentments against family & friends who left me in the deepest, darkest times of my disease. I absolutely take responsibility for my selfish actions that I displayed during my drinking & accepted & am getting through all the consequences of those actions – financial, legal, etc. My parents last words to me, delivered by someone else, were we hate your guts & never want to see you again. They subsequently turned my son & the rest of the family against me & have held fast to that for the last 5+ years, even though I have been sober & a new person. I have had the same experience with a couple friends as well. The part that gets me is these are “Christian” people, deacons & leaders in their churches. I am a mother & for the life of me, do not understand how a parent hates their own child & walks away from them. I could never do it. I have a daughter & we have an incredibly good relationship. I was not a bad person, just a very sick person. I have struggled with forgiving them deeply. Week 2′ or 3’s message really, really helped me understand it’s a process as I thought I had totally failed the forgiveness piece. The way Mike put it in this lesson really hits me as he is saying why should I be forgiven & not them and that makes total sense, but the wound runs deep & I am really struggling with it.

  71. Profile photo of
    ashain

    Amazing!

  72. Profile photo of Rebelforchrist

    That’s pretty heavy but really cool. I have a sister that I hadn’t talked to for over a year and now we’re talking and got past our differences but I wish it had happened sooner