Read (from the New Living Translation)

Hebrews 10:24-25, 39

24 Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. 25 And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.

39 But we are not like those who turn away from God to their own destruction. We are the faithful ones, whose souls will be saved.

Go Deep

WBSGbio_BekahThis one is so important and so easily overlooked. Bekah from The Wally Show opens up about the lie she had to stop believing during this difficult year in her life.

“I’m exhausted. Everything is slipping through the cracks. I just can’t keep up!”

How many times have you said something similar? I’ve said it a lot this year.

As my little family rides the roller coaster of my husband’s health problems, I often feel stretched thin. It’s hard to focus at work. We’re almost always in the middle of a game of phone tag with doctors or insurance. Every weekend is a battle of whether or not to take him back to the emergency room. My body hurts from all the nights spent in the hospital.

The people pleaser in me constantly feels inadequate when faced with a hundred different opinions of well-intentioned friends and family members.

And the craziest part of all of it? I don’t have to feel this way! Almost every day, people who care about us ask how they can help. Every time, I answer, “Oh we’re good. I’m ok…”

….which is a terrible lie. Over the past few months, when people saw through my fake answer and cooked us a meal or sent us a gift card, I’d weep in private. It always happened when I was on the edge of another breaking point that they couldn’t have known about because I insisted I was ok—my husband Joey was the sick one.

It took me too long to learn that God created us to live in community. We aren’t meant to live on an island of emotional and physical exhaustion.

When I finally started letting others help, it lifted a burden off of my shoulders, and helped them by letting them do what they felt called to do in the first place.

It was a rough lesson but a good one, especially as others around me face their own battles. From my family’s struggles, I learned that a meal, or a $10 gift card, or a simple act of service can go a very long way when you feel you have nothing left to give.

I’m trying to get better at extending that help when I recognize a need, because I know we’re meant to lean on each other when life happens.

Notes from the Beyond Suffering Bible

Balm for the Hurting Soul – When life gets tough, we need a support network. We need to help others and be willing to receive help from others. A true fellowship of believers, where there is an equal exchange of love and encouragement, can be a balm to the hurting soul. Don’t let Satan isolate you or someone else you know! Who could you reach out to today?

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150 Comments on "Day 23: One Lie You Need to Stop Telling When You’re Suffering"

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Unathi
Member
Thank you, Bekah for sharing your heart on this. It’s easy to go one of two ways in the really pressing times; it’s easy to go all-out complaining, or go all-out denial (“I’m blessed to be a blessing. Everything’s cool!”). But the harder thing, the right thing to do is to admit our struggles, fears, inadequacies, and ask for help or prayer. It’s very hard to do that for those of us who see ourselves as independent and/or self-sufficient. I can say that, because I’ve often been guilty of going the “I’m fine” route. It’s taken a long time, but… Read more »
Asher
Member

Unathi, I completely relate, being an independent introvert myself. I’ve always found it hard to have community and am hesitant to share my struggles, but one act of kindness can make my day.
In the story of the woman at the well, the first step Jesus took was recognizing the Samaritan woman’s need. So this was a great reminder to be looking out for others who are on “islands”, too, and show God’s love to them!

Mbamtx
Member
Thank you for your comments and your prayers for the group. Being a part of this community has really helped during a really hard time in my life. My faith and spirituality tends to be a very personal, intimate thing and just recently I have started to share with others in my life that I know have the same foundation. It’s powerful to pray with someone or know that others are praying for you. Thank you for your reminder that we are not alone in this. I am thankful for those “God Links” that draw us closer to Him and… Read more »
Terri
Member

Thank you. AND AMEN!

Westernyankee
Member

Admitting we need help doesn’t mean we aren’t strong or capable, it means we are human. Thank you for sharing your story and this beautiful reminder that it is okay to let others prop us up when we are tilting under the stresses of life.

Nicki
Member

This is so true. It’s hard to remember in the moment though that I can’t do it all alone. Sometimes in the busy world we’re in people are in so much of a rush that it’s easy to hide when you’re hurting. It doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t try to help anyways.

Wendy
Member

Very well said. Praying for your family!

Mindachn
Member
I know that once we surrender and stop holding it all and allow those around us in and like you said help because they believe they are called to help us, so much peace comes into that situation. There is a deep sense of knowing you are not in this alone. Thank you for sharing and blessing to you and your husband during this time. I pray Gods complete healing over your husband from his head to his toes. May his body be made whole and function the way God intended it to when He created him from the foundation… Read more »
Penny.Bullard
Member

Amen!! Healing in abundance in Jesus name!

Kellycat71
Member

I do this so often. Thank you Bekah. God be with you. I’m a single mom of an adult son with bipolar and Aspergers. He’s capable of my things, he’s come so far but then there’s certain things and times where it takes a toll on me. I cry in private. I feel selfish thinking I should be praying for my son, not me. My family lives up north. But I keep praying.

WAY-FM
WAY-FM

Praying for you and your son Kelly!

Ginger
Guest

Thanks for sharing. It is so much easier to tell someone you are ok when you are really not. I have to say I have a great support group from friends and family, they have kept me going when I felt like I couldn’t. Prayers for you and your husband.

Willyfrogrw
Member

Very wise words. Excepting help is hard but when God sends angels to help you it is a blessing for all involved.

Debra
Guest

It is extremely hard to accept things from others, but you bring up a great point…..it is what they were lead to do and we should receive it graciously without guilt. Thank you Father for our support network of believers in our world.

Sheron
Member

I know how hard it is to let go and let others help, we feel that we have to take care of everything! That has always been my problem, I have to step back at times and realize that God has things under control and nothing will fall apart if I let some one else handle something, that is why God sent them in the first place he saw that I needed the help.

Loran
Member
Thank you for the message today. This year has been extremely difficult, and I felt extremely isolated in being with my son in the hospital. I was let down by my church in the area of communal support, even though they helped a great deal financially. I’ve felt guilty complaining or feeling abandoned because of the help they did provide. But I honestly did feel isolated and lonely. I learned two things from this: 1) God taught me to depend on Him for comfort, and 2) I realized how much community support means. So now that we’re through the rough… Read more »
WAY-FM
WAY-FM

Loran, what a testimony to the grace of God that you begin a ministry out of a need you experienced. We are praying for you!

Tstone
Member

This is so GOOD! Pride, it is my worst enemy. I don’t need help. I can do it. If I ask for help I am weak. I rarely win this battle. I’m trying but it is really hard to ask for help. Thank you for this message.

Dawndee
Member

Thank you for sharing. It is so true! One of the hatdest lessons I have been learning is that it is ok to ask for help. It not only releaves and allows me to be blessed. But when we don’t let others assist we are actually stealing their blessing.

Jennie
Member

Bekah your family is in my prayers! You have a community of listeners hoping for the best for your family!

Rick Jones
Guest

I grew up in the 1950’s and 1960’s as unchurched unbeliever, so the reminder in todays scripture to “not forget the assembling with other believers;” that is, going to church is a priority for me. We need one another for encouragement, prayer and to be taught the scriptures. I thank our Lord Jesus for the church, His bride!

Jameska
Member

This is a lesson that so many of us have to learn. What I’ve been learning is that if I don’t learn how to receive when I need help, then I am too depleted to pour out when the time comes for me to give help. The way it worked with me was: until I learned how to receive from people, I also couldn’t (or wouldn’t) receive from God. This meant I was always unintentionally blocking my own blessings.

Debbie
Member

Thank you Bekah! I am so guilty of telling that lie as well. The I’m fine, I can do this myself, I don’t need any help lie. Many times I feel myself slipping and I just can’t bring myself to ask even for prayer because I don’t want anyone to know that I’m less that what I appear. Thank you for the reminder that yes, God is there, but so are many others waiting to serve.

mammabug
Member
I think as women, we naturally tend to not ask for anything when a spouse or child or ourselves are in need. I know that, I personally, will literally run myself to the point of exhaustion. Early this year I was sick for 2 months, couldn’t eat solid foods,lost 25 pounds. Nothing could be found in the dozen tests I went through. I denied a high stress level. But, in reflection, I am sure that I just made myself sick. Running 4 kuds, losing both our jobs, starting our own business, and nit asking for help, or even reaching out… Read more »
Pam
Member

Bekah, thank you so much for sharing this message. I am just like you and have such a hard time letting people help me. This message will always be with me and I hope I can learn to listen to what you have said in this message.

Denise.ml
Member

You are so right Bekah. I saw this everyday in the clinic I practiced. I would ask “how are you?” And most of the time the answer was ” fine” even though we both knew they were not “fine”. By continuing to offer my encouragement and acceptance, the real concern or ‘suffering’ was voiced and the help they came for could then be given. I often thought how this parallels Our relationship with God. You & Joey remain in my prayers as you walk through this trial.

Kimmy
Guest

Bekah, I’ve enjoyed all of the small group devotions, but the 2 days you have done, have touched me the most. Thank you.

Sparks_10@live.com
Member

Thank you for sharing! I have the same problem asking for help or admitting I need it! And it is very true that when someone offers to help, it is just as important for them to be able to help because God may have put it on their heart to help us. My mother always said to let others be a blessing to us so they too can be blessed! Prayers for you and your family!

Chartinaemm@outlook.com
Member
Chartinaemm@outlook.com
This is a very affirming post. My coworker recently had a nephew who passed away he was only 6. He lived with her brother in Hawaii and it hurts her that she can not be there for them. God has been pushing me to go and spend time with her cook her dinner. Whenever I ask she just says I’m okay and part of me believed and the otherside could see a deeper pain.I want to help but I don’t know how. But from this post I learned that a little can go a long way so I will just… Read more »
Milli
Member

Thank you for sharing. This is one important message for all. We ourselves offer assistance to others so why can’t we accept their offer to help us?

Marty
Member

I can so relate to this. I’ve always been so self-reliant it’s very hard for me to ask for help, much less accept it when it’s offered. But I try to remember what it’s like to be the giver…it is so freeing and joyous to help someone else so when we deny that help we are robbing someone else’s blessing too. Thanks, Bekah, and I will be praying for you and Joey!

sunruh74
Member

I just heard it said that the local bar is more like the church is suppose to be than the church is. The bartender knows a person’s problems better than the preacher does because when we go to church we put on our best outfit and wear our Christian smile and say everything is okay.

MaryS
Member

Thank you, 💞

4hope
Member
Oh Bekah how true this is. I find it hard my self to drop “my pride” and let anyone know “I’m not okay and i might need some help!”. This is my deep dark secret, I suffer from depression and hide it very well, but lately I have found myself not wanting to leave the house (or even the couch). I have a very active 10 year old son, which of course as you can imagine, makes it very difficult. Very often I get overwhelmed with life and do not allow others to help out. Satan always seems to find… Read more »
WAY-FM
WAY-FM

Bonni, praying for you. Praying that the darkness of depression lifts enough for you to ask for the help you need to get through this time. Some of the WAY-FM staff experience depression as well so there is understanding for your situation. We are praying for you to find relief. If you missed Joy’s devotion on depression that’s a good place to start – if nothing else to realize that you aren’t alone even though it might feel like it. Her devotional was on October 5 – here’s the link: http://group.wayfm.com/2016/10/05/

Ashton
Member
This is such a hard one for me! Like you Bekah, I am a people pleaser and I don’t want to be an inconvenience to others. It’s such a challenge to ask for help in life’s trials and tribulations. Sometimes I tell myself I’d rather be isolated and alone when I’m struggling so no one will know or see. “Don’t let Satan isolate you” really struck a cord for me! I hadn’t thought about it being a blessing to others to be supportive to me and I continue to try to open up to my support network. This was a… Read more »
Linda
Member

Thank you for sharing. This is a hard thing to do… accept help when you need it. It is so much easier to help than let someone help..

Scoon254
Member
My family has been dealing with my wife’s health issues for several years now. When we dealt with a truly difficult time a few years ago, my pastor asked if the church members could help. I did not want to accept this because I am not one to ask for help, until he said that I should allow the people who have been called to help others use their gift. Thisgot through to me and I let them help. What a true blessing this was to my family and I. Thank God that He has called people to help others.
ktekulve1
Member

This really hit home with me this morning. Thank you Bekah for your transparency and honesty. Your WayFM family loves you and bigger and greater than you can imagine—next time you metion your hubby on the air and you have a beat break; I’d imagine that literally thousands of prayers are sent your way. The Way family extends farther that the goofy company you keep at work every day. 💚

tacljones
Member

I really loved today’s message. I can relate with some of the struggles you mention. I was married for 16 years when my husband moved in with another women and left me with 3 kids. It was so overwhelming! It’s been several years since then, and while I’ve learned to adjust – there are times when things still feel overwhelming. Thanks for sharing your struggles.

Beth
Guest

This is so true! Thank you for this! When we were struggling, people would reach out and try to help and we would say- we are good- when in fact we were drowning. On those moments when a handshake greeting would included a $100 bill I knew God was saying- You need help… you need ME… I am using THESE to help you!God sends people our way… and when we are on our feet- he will send us to them!
Prayers for your husband’s healing and for you the strength to carry on!

Ben Cairns
Member

Thank you for sharing this Bekah!

It is my belief it takes more strength to ask for help than it is to simply endure it and act like everything is fine. I have had to teach myself so many times whether at work or at home.

My prayers are with you and your family Bekah. May God bring healing to your husband and comfort for your family during this time.

Kathy Dacey
Member

So very true. It’s hard to let others help, but we should not rob them of their joy. Thank you for sharing your heart and life with us, Bekah.

Janet
Member

Thanks for sharing what a lot of us go through-in silence-going through a lot here as my son struggles with school and who he is at 16-appreciate all the honesty and the safe place WayFM is-

WAY-FM
WAY-FM

Janet, we will be in prayer for your son and for you as the Mama!

Holdenmonty
Member
I have had to learn and still learning this lesson. With my mental health issues I like to make it seem like I never have a rough day or that I never struggle because I don’t want people to know that I have mental health issues because I don’t want them think I’m crazy or to project the stereo type of somebody with mental health issues on me. But the best thing about the church is when you find people that you can truly open up to and there is no judgement. Sometimes they even struggle with the same things… Read more »
WAY-FM
WAY-FM

Holden, praying for you and praying that you find a community who gets you and you can trust!

Queenshawn77
Member

I am the worst when it comes to accepting help, or even acknowledging that I need help! I love helping others but I feel like I’m inconveniencing someone by asking for help.

WAY-FM
WAY-FM

Shawn, we are praying that you begin to see the gift it is to let someone come alongside of you for a change! It’s hard but so very worth it!

Susan413
Member

That is (1) lesson learned!
I spent decades (I’ll let that sink in) not wanting to bother God or others. Always thinking, “I got this.” Well, needless to say, (4) years ago I had a Job season and faced multiple crises that occured simultaneously. And suddenly , my I got this turned into “Jesus, I can’t do this alone.” And now, when a crisis arises, I call everyone I know to please pray for me and/or my loved ones, and I go to our Lord with honesty and humbleness.

julie
Member

That lie is also one I struggled with (and sometimes still do). When my husband was deployed for a year, there were people offering to help, but I consistently turned them down thinking I could handle it on my own – with 2 young kids. Yes, I ‘handled’ it, but not well – I wish I had recognized that admitting that you need help is not a weakness, but rather a time to tell the world that yes, I’m human, I can’t do this alone, and yes, please help.

Leahmarie711
Member

I think the hardest part about this truth is that I constantly think I’m doing something wrong if I ask for help. I think that I’m supposed to go to God and only him with my struggles. It’s easy to forget that we are meant to be in community. It is definitely something that is hard to find. It is also hard for me to extend trust to others without feeling like a burden. Thank you Bekah for sharing this today. You and your family are in my prayers.

vsroberts41
Member

Thank you for sharing.

Abby
Guest

Thank you for sharing your message. God is good ! I cannot fully grasp what you are going through, but my heart is moved by your words. You are in my prayers! Thank you for encouraging us this day

Cali
Member
God is amazing. Bekah and I are going through a very similar battle… my husband was diagnosed with brain cancer at the beginning of the year… this year has been such a blur and I am always saying “I’m fine, we’re good”… you’re spot on… I need to let this go. I’m so stressed out not knowing what tomorrow is going to bring and how to respond to it. I pray so much for God’s miracles and his grace. This is such a hard road to walk, but I don’t want to quit. God is good.
WAY-FM
WAY-FM

Cali, praying for your husband and for you.

Dawn
Member

Wow! What a great reminder that the little things can help. I know when our son passed away, it was such a blessing to have our church family surround us. It was invaluable to us. Thank you for the charge to look around and serve others. And also the reminder that we don’t have to be okay. We can ask for help. I always tell people who try to refuse my help, “Please don’t steal my blessing.” and it really helps them to realize that it would bless me to help them. Great word, Bekah!

Carmen Melissa
Member
Thank YOU!!! I struggle with isolation. I thought that maybe not going to see friends on the weekends …I would have less chance of running away from dealing with any of my stuff and Ideally I could get closer to God (No distractions)…to hear His quiet voice …Focus on my Spirit. Why talk about my tiny struggles in the big picture of REAL struggles or give any weight to a struggle by talking about it. Isolation can be so deafening. My Mind is LOUD. UGH …I forgot about this simple truth shared in today’s message ” Let us think of… Read more »
WAY-FM
WAY-FM

Carmen, there’s a saying your comment makes me think of – Isolation breeds deception. Sometimes when we isolate the lies get louder until they become false truth. We need other people to help correct our course. Praying for you!

Daniel
Member

May God’s Blessing be with you and your family. My wife and I are praying for you and your family.

Turtlefrog52
Member

I can relate to both sides that you presented. I tend to not let people know when I hurt or need help, and like you I tend to also be a HUGE people pleaser. But, on the flip side, I’ve also been one of the people to offer someone help, and they respond with the cliche “I’m good. We’re good” answer. So it actually inspires me to still do something for those people. Thank you!

Loran
Member
I’ve really enjoyed reading the comments, and while I’ve thought about them, a thought came to mind: we also have to stop telling the lie “let me know if you need anything.” Why is this a lie? Because it makes the person who says it feel good about themselves without having to do anything. You know 99.9% of the people you say it to will say something like, “okay” but never will ask for help, or “we’re fine” and deny that they need help because they don’t want to be a burden. Here’s a better way to offer help, “I’m… Read more »
valeriebmomof3
Member
This is really good Loran. I have been guilty of saying that lie, though I know I will follow through if they ask for anything. I was very touched when I found that there was a ‘meal train’ organized for me after my surgery earlier this year. It was such a blessing even though I felt like our family could handle it. Another friend asked the more direct question, “I’m going to the store, can I pick up anything for you while I’m there?” There were a couple of things that I did want, so I told her about them.… Read more »
WAY-FM
WAY-FM

Great insight Loran, thank you!

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