Read (from the New Living Translation)

Matthew 18:21-22

21 Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone[a] who sins against me? Seven times?”

22 “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven![b]

Go Deep

What do you do when you know you’re not in the wrong? Do you have to forgive then? That’s tough! 

This happened to Wally from The Wally Show after a huge disagreement with his brother-in-law. He discovered that bitterness changes more than just yourself or the person who wronged you…

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116 Comments on "Day 2: But what if I’m right?"

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Brooke
Member

Thank you so much for sharing your story it was really helpful. It gave me a new perspective on forgiveness that I had not thought of before.

Pamela-kerns
Member

Sometimes it takes someone at the end of a journey to help kickstart the beginning of your new journey.

Katie
Member

One of my best friends we had a really rocky start and it took forgiveness and moving on like Wally said and to this day we are solid great friends! Praise God for our friends😊

pmccoy68
Member
Thank you Wally! This has hit really close to home. I have been estranged from my father for a couple of years ago over pretty much the same thing. My father is physically disabled. To the point that he needed 24 hour care. He was in a nursing home for 2 1/2 years when he decided he wanted to go home. My sister and I fought it knowing that there was no way we could do it. He was also a prescription drug addict with a history of overdoses. We fought him to the point of going to court for… Read more »
bwilliams38
Member

Wow! I’m hearing this and realizing that I feel like I’m at the 7th of 70 times. I know I’m not but it sure feels like that. I’m glad this was the devo for today. I am facing this at my job and in my home. I needed to hear this.

Mel
Guest

Where there is forgiveness there is unity and where there is unity it is impossible for our enemy to sow discord. With forgiveness God is more concerned with our obedience then who is right or wrong. Good word Wally

Spechuls
Member
When I was raising children, one of the most consistently enforced rules in our home was regarding the use of four letter words. I taught them that the worst four letter word you can use is “HATE” and it was regarded as an obscenity. When we don’t do the work that it takes to truly forgive, both ourselves and others, we allow our hearts to be filled with contempt… a contempt that grows into hate. Hate displaces joy and invites the enemy to occupy your life. Forgiveness cleanses and renews your heart. Forgiveness and gratitude are the most significant reflections… Read more »
SW
Guest

Amen!

Jennifer
Member

Great perspective, Mel! God is only concerned about our obedience, not who is right or wrong. Thank you for that! I needed to hear it.

Charlene jones
Member
I have a friend that i love dearly and hold on to as i have no family or children. Sometimes she will let anything come out of her mouth or i feel like I’m walking on eggshells around her as i have to figure out what side of the bed she woke up on that day before i say anything. Any time we’ve had an argument I’ve always been the one to reach out to her first and it hurts my feelings. From today’s message i got that no matter how many times we forgive, God says do it 70×7.… Read more »
April
Guest

Hey

Kim Zulock
Member

I teach children’s church, and the month of March was devoted to teaching on forgiveness. I taught on this verse, this past Sunday, but never really thought about it from this perspective. We discussed having to forgive someone that has wronged us, even if they keep doing the same thing over and over again, but never thought about having to forgive someone who doesn’t seek it out. Thanks for the lesson!

cameran_smith
Member

I bet we use the same curriculum. Forgiveness has been the topic of our children’s ministry during March, as well!

dbh17
Member

My problem is with me. I can’t forgive myself,which then makes me angry with myself, and that anger gets taken out on family and friends, sometimes just because I’m being so quiet and brooding over things. They can tell something is wrong but aren’t sure what, so it makes for some uncomfortable times. It’s a little hard for me to put into words.

Jennifer
Member

Share your struggles with them. They are who you should turn to in your time of need and when you need prayer. I get what you are saying because I am there often. I have learned I can’t do it on my own. I need to go to God in prayer and ask others who I trust to pray for me.

Pastor Dave WAY-FM
WAY-FM
David, forgiveness is so all-encompassing, isn’t it. I encourage you to forgive yourself because God has already forgiven those who ask of Him. Don’t let any grass grow beneath your feet any longer on this. I pray you trust God’s power to release this to find His true freedom in the beauty of forgiveness. Your “cross to bear” [Luke 9.23-26] is not to hang onto it, but to give it to the Lord. Your load will be lighter; your journey more joyful; & your life more blessed … because that’s just what God does. Be strong.
BethB
Member

Awesome walking that road right now…

Synergetichealg
Member

God’s timing is perfect because I need this right now. I too am struggling with others who I should forgive when I have done nothing wrong.

Carl
Member

Matt 5:9 “Blessed are those who are peacemakers ….” Sometimes, you just have to make the peace, when peace doesn’t present itself.

Pastor Dave WAY-FM
WAY-FM

A powerful Scripture!

Kirsten
Member

So true! I had hatred in my heart for years towards my stepdad. When I finally let it go I healed. He never asked for forgiveness but I forgave him in my heart and was able to have a better relationship with my mom because of it. Thank you for sharing your story Wally.

leanne.blair@yahoo.com
Member
leanne.blair@yahoo.com

Thank you so much

Kelly
Member

Thanks for sharing your story. I heard once that not forgiving someone is like you taking poison and expecting the other person to die from it. Makes no sense. I think God knew that (He did create us) and that is why Jesus was so clear that we are to forgive. It not only bridges that relationship, but it removes an obstacle in our growing closer to God.

Jennifer
Member

This is so good, Kelly! Thank you for sharing. I needed to hear this!

Pastor Dave WAY-FM
WAY-FM

Yes, Kelly. My rights often get in the way of God’s perfection.

chenglis
Member

Great topic today. I think this is really a relevant aspect of forgiveness in daily life.

Jeffery
Guest

Shameless plug for Brant Hanson’s book Unoffendable. Great resource for discovering how to forgive.

Member

Thank you Wally for sharing this with us! I’ve had a tough time with forgiveness myself! It’s good to know when you’re not the only one who has a problem with someone or something that we know God wants us to fix.

Karenwhite717
Member

It’s simple….but certainly not easy.

Sarah
Member

While I haven’t had a fight to that extreme, my sister and I have a strained relationship that I am currently working through. God has already shown me some of the fruit from trying to reconnect. Still praying that I can be humble and forgiving.

Ginni
Member

My sister and I are also at odds, she’s bipolar and said & done some really hurtful and insane things. Forgiveness is coming with great difficulty, even though I know the things God’s forgiven me for!

Pastor Dave WAY-FM
WAY-FM

Sarah, you are well on your way, and the best part is that our forgiving Savior is right there with you! There will be a lot of celebration ahead, beginning in your heart & life first. You will have a blessed life!

dr pepper
Member
Have a similar problem with my sister in law. I felt she overreacted to a situation and got mad at me for it. I don’t know if she has not forgiven me or if she has but has just opted to not interact with me as much which, needless to say, puts a strain on a family. I love her and she is a good and faithful person. But we are very different. She was raised more of a “prim and proper” Southern girl. I admittedly am more rough around the edges but believe God made us each to be… Read more »
Pastor Dave WAY-FM
WAY-FM

“Love covers a multitude of sin” [1 Peter 4.8] … & it allows God to do His work in the person He has created & knows best. Thanks for your teachable spirit & your wise comments!

pastormatt
Member

We have had a similar situation in our family. Our family is not nearly as close as we once were. We used to take a big family vacation each year and this is the first year that it will not happen at all.

cmsda
Guest

Wally, Good apology, however it would be improved to not use the word “IF”. If implies that I still did not do anything wrong, and puts the ulnas back on the other party. example: “I am sorry if you were offended by anything I said.” The better and more sincere apology is ” I am sorry for _____ that I said.” Just a thought for accountability.

Natalie
Guest

Very good point cmsda. I realize that I often play on words, especially when I do not want to take ownership for a situation I do not feel was my fault. However, we must lead by example and show forgivess. I thank you for pointing this out, because it allowed for me to reflect on how I often speak and fail hold myself accountable.

Andy
Member

Been part of a leadership workshop that taught us to “Disagree agreeably” and it looks a lot like this. Even when you don’t see where you are “wrong” (and you could be completely right about it!) you are half of the argument, therefore you have a part in this.

Pastor Dave WAY-FM
WAY-FM

I appreciate your reminder of humility which the Lord always honors. I like the Apostle Paul’s trust in the Lord’s work as seen in Philippians 3.15-16.

Theywillbesaved
Member

Like many people, I have had some great trespasses committed against me. Healing from a great injustice can be hard, forgiveness doesn’t always happen overnight, but in the life, death, and resurrection of my Lord, I’ve been forgiven more than I could ever comprehend, so to withhold forgiveness would hurt more than heal. In the end unforgiveness looks like your own festering hate, but Forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same things. Jesus did not say we must reconcile seventy times seven, but that we must forgive. I’m glad you were able to reconcile, it’s a beautiful thing.

Pastor Dave WAY-FM
WAY-FM

Eloquent words, Vicki. Thanks for great teaching.

Carrie
Guest

Thank you all for sharing. I found this at the perfect time of my life. I am going through some tuff stuff but had I not had my faith and this wonderful site I wouldn’t be able to forgive so easily as I do now. All your sharing and stories has me in a great place. God is truly wonderful and loving.
God bless you all.

Mythina
Member
I have a follow-up question. How do we forgive and get past issues when the offender is no longer in our lives? Forgiveness is something I often struggle with when something has gone awry and the offender subsequently leaves to my past. (My local station did a segment talking about how it doesn’t make sense to call them up and tell them they’re forgiven; such an action is likely to be as much retribution as catharsis) Without having that discussion, or even just facing them again, I find it really difficult to forgive. What are some other things that one… Read more »
Pastor Dave WAY-FM
WAY-FM

We sure would like everything reconciled; however, forgiveness always releases me so that God can fill the void with His Grace.
It’s a struggle, for sure. For me, if I will “strain” toward that, I get God’s “prized” blessing [Philippians 3.10-14].

Lathan
Member

I have had this go so far that I could not remember why I was mad, or what happened to cause us to be upset.

Pastor Dave WAY-FM
WAY-FM

Yes, Lathan. I often thank God for my bad memory. I’ll even take that as a gift from Him!

Cody D
Member

This is some challenging Scripture. It basically is saying…it doesn’t matter how many times somebody sins against you or what they do to you, you must still forgive them.

Forgiveness is the only way to escape the grip bitterness, anger and all sorts of bad feelings; the only way to escape the grip of the Devil

Pastor Dave WAY-FM
WAY-FM

Very challenging when you say it that way, Cody … but reassuring that God accounts for unconfessed sin & He knows each person’s heart. We truly have to trust our Just God, Who promises to heal the broken when we come to Him. I’m glad it all matters to Him.

hollowaysd
Member

This is so timely for me that I am crying. I just made the decision to file for divorce. I recently found out my husband has been having a long term affair and he does not want to end it. I have struggled with how do you forgive someone who is not sorry and does not want to change even if they are in the wrong. So thankful for this small group

Pastor Dave WAY-FM
WAY-FM

Stayed tuned, Sarah. That very important question is part of our journey in this series.

Carol
Guest

Sarah,
I am so sorry. You have to remember that there is nothing wrong with you. His infidelity is his problem, not yours. Try to find room in your heart to forgive his weakness and let go of the hurt.

Rose
Guest

Yes.its very hard.being as humble as possible and remembering to being as happy and pure as possible.and let go of the things that make you unhappy and keep going an enjoying your life and peace.

Pastor Dave WAY-FM
WAY-FM

I have to keep reminding myself that God’s benefits far outweigh the work I have to put in. Right?

Terri
Member
Forgiveness isn’t easy. It goes against our sinful nature. It is a choice – you either choose to forgive or you don’t. God chooses to forgive us even though He has done NOTHING wrong. He says, “I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.”(Heb. 8:12) Being human, we can’t forget, but we can choose to forgive. Some time ago on WayFM, I heard someone say they were told, “Fake it till you make it.” I thought that was absurd until they explained the meaning. You might not feel like forgiving that person, but you talk to… Read more »
Susan
Member

I found unforgiveness was only harming me mentally and spiritually, even though I was not in the wrong. The other person never acknowledged the hurt they caused by their words and actions, so I stubbornly held on to my unforgiveness. It took me years unfortunately to truly let it go, but I have a good relationship with that family member now and I never want to go back. I had to live it out to learn the lesson.

Nancy2028
Member

I loved this message because I also had some problems with my in laws and it was hard because u felt like I would always say sorry but they would never return it. So it took me some time and prayer to heal from it. Thank you for sharing your experience.

Jstnthrgal
Member
How True you are Wally. It is not always easy to forgive, but by forgiving we also free ourselves. Especially if it isn’t someone that we know very well. They may not even care if we forgive them or not, but we will eat ourselves up over it if we don’t forgive them and let it go. I remember a state by the character of Gil Grissom on CSI, he said don’t let them live rent free in your head. Not forgiving someone does just that. I hope your brother-in-law doesn’t see this and think oh so he didn’t think… Read more »
Nancy2028
Member

I loved this message because I also had some problems with my in laws and it was hard because I felt like I would always say sorry but they would never return it. So it took me some time and prayer to heal from it. Thank you for sharing your experience.

Knenoff00
Member

I have not be on the end of having to forgive someone to the point of where Wally was yet. If that time come I pray that I will be able to to before it does put time between me and that person though. We don’t know how long we have with each other and I don’t want to waste any of it.

Pastor Dave WAY-FM
WAY-FM

Yes, God’s time is always NOW. Thanks for that great reminder!

Michelle
Member

I know that forgiveness is an absolute in following the ways and truths of Christ, but as the peacemaker in the family it gets exhausting and extremely heartbreaking sometimes. Is walking away, something Christ would be ok with?

Pastor Dave WAY-FM
WAY-FM

When we forgive, the offense & the offender no longer hold authority over me. Christ is my authority. I don’t invite “persecution” but I am to love those who persecute me [Matthew 5]. For me, sometimes the Lord allows me to have the distance; other times He prompts me that this is the time He wants me to show His love & grace as His light so that they see His better way to live.

chenglis
Member

Since the current topic is forgiveness, I wanted to mention one of my favorite video clips from Brant Hansen is about how The Kingdom of God is Like a Football Team.
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1011057005614832&id=597786136941923

Brant Hansen and Producer Sherri are two of my favorite people. I love their show so much.

Pastor Dave WAY-FM
WAY-FM

Thanks for this great link. God be praised for His great love to us in Jesus Christ!

francesvaldez
Member

listening to wally brought so much thoughts. in my family we have had the same issues for years and it just seems to keep building you. no one is ever willing to forgive and move on. this truly made me think tonight..

Robin
Member

What brought to my mind is that we are to truly the door that opens the way for God to come through us to other people. We are to forgive others as God forgives us. We are to love love others as God loves us.

God shines through us via our actions and words to bring people close to Him.

Dollar
Member
What timing God has. We had some friends that were really close, close enough we considered to be family. We had a falling out a few months ago and haven’t spoken but a couple times. But those conversations didn’t go very good. I have forgiven everybody involved, including myself. But my wife and our friend that was a sister to us are not budging. They are both mad at each other and will not consider forgiveness at all right now. The only thing I know to do now is pray about it and be patient. Wally, thank you for this… Read more »
Sharmika Brookins
Member

This really help me out with forgiveness …..

Carol
Guest

Jesus is so right! I have seen what anger can do to a family. The person doing the forgiving benefits as much if not more than the forgiven.

Gaary Miller
Guest
Soooo, sometimes people may accuse you of something that appears to them to have been on purpose and you were not even aware you did it and they hate you for it so the initial reaction is to get mad at the accuser of what you did and dislike him and on it goes especially when you know you are going to meet them again and again. Such with me. I delivered a 48″ load of product to United Grocers and I am responsible to separate each item onto it’s own pallet in a certain pattern and only so many… Read more »
Iluv Jesus
Member

Wow!! This spoke to my heart over a similar situation with my sister that has been a matter of prayer for some time. I plan to contact her and do the same as Wally did w/ his brother in law. Thank you for this blessing and message that seemed to be directed right at me.

Lynda
Guest

The bitterness almost consumed me. One day I looked in the mirror and saw an angry, bitter person. I believe the Spirit allowed me to see what I would become if I held onto the hurt and bitterness. I confessed my bitterness and anger before the Church, and my brothers and sisters prayed for me. It is only by God’s grace that the bitterness is gone, even though the hurt returns from time to time.

Jazro
Member

Thank you Wally, it hit home. It’s tough when in your heart you know you are right. At first anger than shame. But after a day or two I’ve asked myself what would JC do. Than, guilt. Next, I want to make it right and asked the Lord for help. He comes through when you ask.

Erica
Guest
This is very true. I was recently in a situation with a coworker where we had a disagreement and she said some things to me that really hurt me but I also didn’t react in the way I should have to that situation. It was awkward after that and I was full of anger. Even though I didn’t begin the situation God told me to apologize to her for the way I reacted and to ask for her forgiveness. After I did that the anger I was harboring was gone, and it has been totally normal around one another. It… Read more »
Member

Thank you for the wisdom. I thank you for sharing your story and being transparent with a tough moment in your life.

slady
Member

Thank you thank you thank you! I needed this more than I can say!

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